My City of Blinding Lights

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I did it, guys! Yesterday, I sat in the bleachers of Yankee Stadium for the first time in twelve plus years when my dad tried to take me to a game and I did not yet understand that I should have appreciated baseball if not for the art of the game than for the hot dogs. I graduated from NYU!

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My friend and I were rebels and sat with Tisch, the drama school, because we’re both basically actors anyway, and Tisch had a better view of the ceremony.

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And, much to our surprise, halfway through the ceremony, we turned around to spot the one and only Bono! Once I got over the huge fan-girl moment I was having, I realized the significance behind this moment.

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Yes, he was sitting there to watch his daughter graduate, but I was sitting there, because, a few years ago, I tied “City of Blinding Lights” into my college essay. I wrote to NYU that some troublesome times writing for my high school newspaper taught me that I had a voice, that my voice had power, and that my voice mattered. I wrote that I knew I needed to polish my writing abilities, but that I knew one day I could make an impact. That I could help someone through my words. I wrote that U2′s “City of Blinding Lights” had always spoken to me in a way that great music always seems to do when we’re young and impressionable and hearing all of these inspirational messages for the first time. And as I sat there, listening to President John Sexton conclude the ceremony, I could not help but to smile, knowing that Bono was smiling just a few feet away from me, and knowing that everything really had come full circle.

I am not the girl I was when I first stepped into Manhattan and called it home. I am stronger, I am wiser. And my voice? Well, it still gets me in trouble from time-to-time. But it matters. And your voice matters. And your life matters. So, do something with it.

The seconds, hours, minutes tick by and we waste so much time worrying about what we could have done differently in the past, worrying about what could have been. I look back, and I know I’ve made a ton of mistakes in this life so far. But I also know that I’ve grown, and that I must’ve done something right to get to where I am today.

So, find that passion. Find your inspiration. Whether it comes to you through the lyrics of a song, a passage in your favorite novel, a quote from your favorite movie or even just from the encouraging look or smile that a loved one gives you. Find your inspiration. And chase after it. I’m so glad I did.

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Goofball since 1992.

“…Don’t look before you laugh. Look ugly in a photograph.

Flash bulbs, purple irises the camera can’t see.

I’ve seen you walk unafraid. I’ve seen you in the clothes you made.

Can you see the beauty inside of me?…”

Moving On

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At this time next week, I will be sitting within the confines of Yankee Stadium, plopped alongside thousands of my classmates in a sea of purple, eagerly awaiting the commencement ceremony to commence and the rest of my life to unfold before my eyes. At this time next week, I will be graduating from New York University.

But today, today I will be saying some tearful goodbyes to some people I have come to know dearly. It is amazing how one person can change so much in a week, a month, a year. We go through the motions of our lives as though actors on a movie set, except we rarely take a moment to stop, reel back the footage and watch how much we’ve grown and how far we’ve come.

I remember being a freshman. I remember thinking I knew it all, had everything under control. But, looking back, I was still just a baby. Chasing after the wrong things, the wrong people. Getting lost in myself, but, in a way, beginning to find my true self in the process. As the years ticked onward, I continued to grow, as does everybody. And now, sitting here and looking back on all the memories–some good, some tragic–that cloud my vision from over the years, I can’t help but smile. Everything, in the end, was a learning experience, and it all helped shape me into the person that I am today.

Today I will be saying some tearful goodbyes to some people I have come to know dearly over the past couple months. We’ve all known each other for only a little less than a year, but, already, we’ve all changed so much. It’s funny how life will do that to you. People walk into your life and people walk out of it, and, for the people who stay, you always end up looking back and wondering how you could have gone your whole life without knowing them up until this point.

I say that today will be tearful, but the tears will not really be ones of sadness. Sure, we are all going our separate ways come next week. One of us is even moving halfway around the world to start the next chapter of her life in England, but this is not the end, even if it seems like it may be for some time. This is just the beginning.

We’re all still growing, still changing. I think that’s the point of life. We’ll continue to make mistakes. And just as we’ll continue to occasionally interact with the wrong people, we’ll also continue to occasionally stumble across the right ones. It’s life. And it’s messy and it’s uncertain and it’s full of wonderful surprises.

We are all going to be just fine. And we are all going to continue on this journey together.

Shakespeare once said, “There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.”

At this time next week, I will be sitting within the confines of Yankee Stadium. And I could not be more excited.